CLAIRE AND ALISON

Atheism hahaha

2012-03-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

Gym

2012-03-25T06:56:00.001-07:00

And yes... This happened

2012-03-21T22:14:00.003-07:00

Yep this is us.

2012-03-21T22:14:00.001-07:00

2012-03-21T22:13:00.001-07:00

FW: come ride my moustache

2011-04-06T21:12:00.001-07:00

Come ride my moustache...

I need a hobby...

2011-03-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

The latest amusing POF correspondence... start from the bottom and read up :)

From: Ahhcademic (View Profile)

Subject: The Jewel of Cloverdale Sent Date: 3/23/2011 12:47:05 AM

Claire -

Though my subject refers, of course, to Cloverdale Meat and Video (of which I have attached a picture taken last Christmas day - note that it is open), I am sure that it could just as well refer to you. (HOTFLIRTATION ALERT)

I will now pick a selection of the absurd smiley-style characters to the right of this message window (exempting, of course, the Dancing Green Banana, 'cause nobody effs with the DGB), those loved/hated characters that are one of the many head-shaking-quirky eccentricities that exemplify the simultaneous blessing and blight which is pof, and compose a spontaneous haiku, in gratitude for the haiku which you seriously took an afternoon off work to compose.

Hmm...which ones? Which...ones.

There!

Ya'll just want to be
The dancing green 'nana, but -
Ya'll are just pixels

Ok, yours was better.
What scared me about meat and videos, together at last? Let's just say it was a gut feeling. Certain worlds should never collide, and certain things should never get together, like your boss and facebook, or hair and food, or black socks and shorts, or tattoo designs on shirts.

You just moved to Cloverdale last year? Where did you move from? What prompted the move?

I'll probably be out in Cloverdale next Sunday...chill with the babies in the afternoon, pole dancing lesson with a hot PoF date in the evening? ;) OR Dublin Crossing and a few pints if we need to work our way up to the "pole position"...wait, I didn't mean that to be as dirty as it sounds, but after I typed it I couldn't resist leaving it. So there.

Hi5s and warm regards from Mt. Pleasant,
D.
From: StrawberryBlond99 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 3/21/2011 10:51:10 PM

Hi Derek,

I'm glad you were amused... it took me all afternoon to write it. I took time off work...

The laptop I'm using at the moment is missing some keys... including the exclamation point, and both parentheses. So my smileys are really just eyes : I'm telling you this so will understand why this message is so serious... and know that I'm not really this serious, exclamation point.

I just moved to Cloverdale in April, and to be honest I didn't know it had a 'meat and video shop'. What scared you about this? Were you worried about potentially bad meat, or bad videos? I like meat, and I also like videos... so I plan to visit this shop in the near future. I did notice recently that Cloverdale has a pole-dancing fitness studio - I'm totally serious.

I'm happy you have family out here... are you planning a visit soon? I accept your challenge to a thumb-war. Ever hear of David and Goliath? I think we know who won that one... just sayin'...

Have a good night Derek,

Claire

From: Ahhcademic (View Profile)

Subject: RE:Hi Sent Date: 3/21/2011 8:18:12 PM

Claire -

Thank for the most awesome message I've received in ages. Your haiku provided some laughs of its own. Laughs all around!

Cloverdale! Cute trick to say "Cloverdale" instead of "Surrey." Far classier. ;) The last time I was wandering around Cloverdale it was Christmas day, and the only thing that was open was the "Meat and Video Shop." You know it? It scared me. I didn't enter.

Truthfully, the best thing about Cloverdale for me is my almost-one-year-old niece and nephew who live there. They rule. They're babies, so they don't do much besides eat, sleep, shit, look around, and be cute. But I love them anyway.

We have a remarkable number of common interests. Especially the important stuff, like black coffee, and thumb wars. My hands are giant. Your thumbs don't stand a chance.
Derek.

From: StrawberryBlond99 (View Profile)
Subject: Hi Sent Date: 3/19/2011 8:14:13 AM
I had lots of laughs reading your profile...
FYI you are not the only one around here who doesn't snowboard.
Here's a haiku about my last pof date:

He "works hard, plays hard"
Wears hats in all his picture,
It's because he's bald
Have a great day :)
Claire

Classy p.o.f. photos - PART 1

2011-02-15T23:46:00.001-08:00

WHO is the lucky girl? It could be you!!

Text conversation

2011-02-15T23:45:00.001-08:00

Todd: If we jive naturally, THEN I'll go out of my way to make you swoon :)

Claire: As long as you don't mean jive in the literal sense. That would be awkward.

Todd: Neither literally or euphemistically speaking :)

Claire: What a relief... maybe.

Todd: Haha. Saucy. I like.

Funny email conversations...

2011-02-15T23:43:00.001-08:00

Honestly, where else can I share this?

Your profile: well done
Our steaks: medium rare

Hi there,

I found your profile quite matching on a number of levels.
I know how many emails flood in and fear mine would be over looked.
There is much I would like to say and ask, yet I will see if I
manage to stand out in the digital crowd.

p.s. You have "learning guitar" listed twice. That would mean you'd
definitely need lessons from me.

Miles

Hi Miles... you obviously have an excellent sense of humour - you've already made me laugh a few times. Good work :)
I'm curious now about what you have to say, and ask, so ask away. You've definitely got my attention.
Let's talk soon,
Claire

Hi Claire, I am glad I was able to saunter through the cloud of
POFers.

Are you one who would rather get questions and answers out via
email, phone or in person? Please don't say morse code, it is so
1800's. .-- .. -. -.-

Miles

Note: Because I'm awesome, I figured out his little dots/dashes are actually morse code translated into text… it says "wink"

Are those my only options? I was thinking homing pigeons, or messages written in the sky with jetplanes.
Seriously though, I prefer the email --> phone --> in person route.
So what kind of music do you compose? I'm very curious about this... do you also sing? If you are a rapper, this could be a problem ;)
I took some guitar lessons a few years ago, but I was very undisciplined about practicing. Basically, I didn't. So, sadly, I've forgotten most of what I learned. I might be too embarrassed to let you teach me.
Have you lived here long? Where in the lower mainland are you?
Have a good evening :)
-.-. .-.. .- .. .-. .

My morse code says "Claire"

I'm so friggin' clever!!

Oh what a fantastic sense of humour, and shining with creativity!

I just noticed something from your "email --> phone --> in person
route". When it's not online dating it is usually the exact
opposite order. in person --> phone --> email.

Regarding my music, it is ever evolving. I am usually
writing/composing what I am wanting to hear that I don't hear out
there. So I am usually a little ahead of the curve, when a new
genre becomes popular, I am usually already there. I've done many
styles over the years, rock, metal, dance, techno, pop, grunge,
punk, acoustic, combinations of all but mostly alternative rock.
Yes I do sing, and no I do not rap. I haven't really ever got
into rap.

I was born in Vancouver, moved a lot as a child, from The Arctic
to Persia ( could have said Iran but Persia sounds so much more
exotic, in turn making me sound so cool. no )
I did a few years of both elementary and high school in Vancouver
once my parent stopped moving so much. When they are old, I will
move them from old age home to old age home, I think it is
important to teach lessons. I am sure you know I was kidding.

I was also in Surrey until about 4.5 months ago due to a break
up. I will buy again in Langley, or South Surrey once prices
bottom out, and/or when I am in a great relationship. Currently I
am out in the Abbotsford direction. I am also looking to move my
company closer to Vancouver.

How long have you been in Cloverdale?
How long have you been single for?

Nice to see you have 'making out' in your list, one of my all
time favourites!

Cheers,
Miles

Hi Miles,

Your messages make me laugh... yes, I totally get your humour. When my mother is in an old age home I'm going to feed her bologna sandwiches and leftovers. And I will make my dad play with barbies. (That probably deserves explanation... you see, I was never allowed to do girly things when he and I were together... I had to hike and play catch instead. So... )

Aaaaanywaaaay...

I just moved here (to mainland BC) in April after living in Taiwan for 2.5 years. Before that I was in Calgary, but born in Victoria...

I have been single since the middle of December... my last relationship was quite a short one. It was a long-distance relationship, which is probably why it was so short.

I would love to tell you more, but I am writing a gigantic article review tonight, and so I will have to keep this message brief. I think we should have a phone conversation sometime - what do you think? I need to know if you speak in falsetto or not, because that might be a problem. Also if you are an ex-smoker who uses a mechanical larynx...

Send me a text sometime if you are up for connecting that way:

-----------

Claire

Wow, you definitely getting me laughing good.

I'm doing the after a good laugh sigh now.

Thanks for the number Claire, I think it would be nice to hear

your voice. I'm at -------------- I'll text you tomorrow to make a

phone call date.

Miles

p.s. good luck with the article review.

My last email

2010-06-27T22:36:00.001-07:00

Just a quick to let you all know that my hotmail was compromised and an email with a link was sent out to everyone in my address book. Just wanted to let you know I didn't send it. Sorry for any misunderstandings!
Claire

WTF

2010-04-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Ok... that didn't work. Maybe it has to be in the Title.
Lalalala... I feel like a dooooork...

We're famous!

2010-04-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

OMG... did you know that whatever we write here will come up in google searches?
I was looking up that joke about the paranoid dyslexic and I found it on our own site!!
Let's do a search for... ummm.... Aliaire breek resort.

What is it with this gay?!

2010-04-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

This is like the third time with this (gay?) guy... should we finally point out his mistake? Or keep laughing from a far? Yep... keep laughing.

Eric Lin Lin I was driving a car to go to 三重 to do something.unfortunately, I was in the bad luck, the car just didn't work while I shut it off, Yes!!~that's right!! It was out of power!! finally,I met a gay who was willing to help!! He got a tool to recharge the battery for me !! thanks God!!

Is it just me or is this the plot of some cheezy (gay) porn?

I wonder if it's the left or the right?

2010-04-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Facebook is a treasure trove of entertainment. I have no idea what it says but check out the name:

Buttock Lu:生日生日大快樂呀!!!!!!!!!!!!!上次考試有看到你捏~不過你咻一下就走了~~~

29 minutes ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike · See Wall-to-Wall

bowling/blowing ...

2010-03-31T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yet another opportunity to poke fun of ESL students...

Jack Wang: I forgot to tell you , I was a boy who went blowing with all girls . Kind of fun
35 minutes ago

Um... everyone at work will know we were bowling with Jack, not blowing him right? Bowling was bad enough.

Flea Market (Online translation gone wrong)

2010-03-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

Meh~~~ Every dear fat goat classmate,
Flea Market (only for internal staff)

we might have another one for students in the future if you guys think it's a good idea..

Studio answer 4 month OSC Earth Day and swordfish everyone very have buying ability and each other's good feeling so we decide life one Flea market (only for internal staff).

Please prepare at home your want to sell things. If too big like furniture trouble not to bring it come. Eye before thought is 1 month 1 time set at some Friday. Everyone's thing put in Room 3. (please yourself bring things use bag or box ready so not messy.) Everyone rule most 20 things everything least NT50. (Only face-to-face exchange one-time payment)
Please everyone go home things prepare vote decide date to GQ Room 3 kill red eyes bah!

Thanks for all gays...

2010-03-17T18:38:00.001-07:00

Making fun of people is so awesome...
(seen on facebook)

Eric Lin Lin Thanks for all gays giving me a word 'Happy birthday',I will feel my heart full of the thankfulness all the time. I so glad that I am part of your life. (to all my dear)

Lovely Chocolates

2010-03-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Hello! Alison,

Receive your greeting with thank you :P

Although I have separated birthday parties around recent weekends, it was still out of my plan. Some friends arrange a surprising party to me tonight,therefore, I can not be SC tonight, and cancel it.. I feel a little bit guilty, sorry! But I am sincerely glad to have you all lovely chocolates to stay with me / to send me greetings. Thank you!
The more parties I have, the more weight I get @_@ Not Good! I can't image I have gotten weight 2kgs within only 2days, +_+...

PS: it is time to review English for this Wednesday's encounter, so chat with you next time and wish you a nice night. Janice :-)

Yes.. it IS time to review...

Don't drink and blog...

2010-02-26T12:39:00.000-08:00

So it's 4:38am and I am still up after a night of drinking regular coke at Luxy. I was pondering the many reasons why not to drink alcohol and decided to do an internet search on the topic. Among many good reasons, I also found this gem:

"I think people should never drink and drive many healthy and young people have lost there lives do to dinking and drinking!"'

So true... soooooo true.

Murse or satchel?

2010-02-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

Looking at a profile on Plentyoffish.com...

Alison: Ok, take a look at this picture and tell me... is this a 'murse'?

Claire: Oh... that's a tough one. It's like a cross between a 'murse' and a fanny pack.

Alison: I think it might be a satchel.

Claire: Yeah... haha... Indiana Jones has one. Send me that picture and I'll send it to a friend of mine.

Alison: Ok, why?

Claire: He's a man-bag expert. He bought a Prada 'murse' in Italy... we teased him MURSEilessly about it...

Alison: Hahaha....

Claire: (Falling over from laughter) bahahahaaaa....

Is that a raisin in your fur?

2010-02-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

On the MRT going home:

Claire: (Sigh) Single again... good thing there are still plenty of fish... haha
Alison: Yeah! Lot's of choice out there.
Claire: I don't even know how to talk to boys anymore.
Alison: Me neither!
Claire: We can practice on Sumo...
Alison: "Hey baby, is that a raisin in your fur?"
Claire: Haha... ew... not exactly the same thing.

A Cup of Drink

2010-02-08T08:23:00.000-08:00

Seen on random dating website profile:
"Ideal First Date - A Cup of Drink"

Claire: What the hell is a "cup of drink"?
Alison: It's better than a cup of food...
Claire: ...or cup of shit...
Alison: Yeah I was going to say that.
Claire: ... or cup of cement...
Alison: It's better than a cup of bread...
Claire: Cup of bread!! I LOVE cup of bread!!
Alison: Me too!
Claire: And it's better than "plate of drink" too. You have to be quick with that one...

Train Number 2

2010-02-08T08:18:00.000-08:00

On the way to HsinChu:
Claire: Is there a toilet nearby? I don't want to... you know... use train number two.
Alison: Yeah... that would be unfortunate.

On the way back:
Claire: Thank god I didn't have to use train number two.
Alison: Yes but you did use train number one.
Claire: Yeah totally... I rode that one a lot tonight.

Compliments????

2010-01-26T23:28:00.000-08:00

Non-compliments (or nonpliments):

Pariswei Tsai -> Alison Miller: Daer Alison! You are a real big girl with perfect sweet smile!! I love you and Claire so much XD

Coworker to Claire: "Your nose looks like a fake one."