Compliments????

Non-compliments (or nonpliments):

Pariswei Tsai -> Alison Miller: Daer Alison! You are a real big girl with perfect sweet smile!! I love you and Claire so much XD

Coworker to Claire:  "Your nose looks like a fake one."

Wood Chipper

Watching CSI one night...

Alison:  Ew, ew, ew... I could never kill myself in a wood chipper.

Claire:  Would you rather die in a fire or in a wood chipper?

Alison:  Well, in a fire I guess, because you'd die from smoke inhalation.

Claire:  But what if you didn't... what if you were, like, IN the fire.

Alison:  What d'you mean?  Don't people always die from the smoke?

Claire:  Well, the smoke is, like, at the top... and you're, like, at the bottom.  IN the fire.

Alison:  You mean like if you jumped into a camp fire?
Claire:  Yeah, like if you were a witch.
Alison: Hmmm... I'd really rather not die.
Claire:  Yeah, I guess.  Especially if you had to go feet-first into the wood chipper...

"A"

Dear Alison,
I truly want you to be happy, but I will not allow you to marry a guy who spells the Canadian "eh" as "A."
Love Claire

Anatidaephobia

Alison:  Did you know anatidaephobia is the fear, that some time, somewhere, some how, a duck is watching you...?

Claire:  If it were true, that would make the duck a 'peking' duck... get it? (Insert hysterical laughter here.)

Paranoid Dyslexic

Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic?  He was sure he was following somebody...

I so need to figure out our blog cos I found this and wanted to post it...

G-String Exam

(Overheard on the way back from the gym)
Claire:  You'll have more free time once you've finished writing the GRE.
Alison:  You mean GMAT.
Claire:  GRE, GMAT, G-STRING... what's the difference?
Alison:  I'd probably pass the G-STRING exam... oh wait, maybe not.  "What?  Cellulite?  Fail!!"
Claire:  Yeah, Asia is not the place to do the G-STRING exam.  But you have a great chance of passing in Texas... in terms of the competition...

I'm ready... already wearing my new butt-lifting jeans from Mango :)

Breaking the ice

It was driving me a bit crazy to have an open blog with no posts yet, so I thought I would just dive in and get it over with.  Besides, I'm supposed to be studying right now and this is a perfect way for me to procrastinate.  It's 10am Tuesday morning, and I'm sitting here at the table drinking coffee and eating pumpkin seeds.  Sumo is biting my ankles as usual and I'm trying to ignore him so as not to give him the reaction he desires, but it hurts!
You just came out of your room (yes, it's 10am) and said: "Damn you morning... bested again!"
I think this is hilarious.
Morning in our apartment is one of my favorite times...just the combination of pj's, CNN on TV, coffee and the sound of rain outside is comforting, and I'm pretty sure I'll miss it when I'm back in Canada.  I won't miss the doorbell scaring the crap out of me (it was the gas guy) or the insane morning traffic outside our window. 
I was thinking we should title this blog 'cousins'... what do you think?  It kind of sounds like a TV sitcom, which is basically what hanging out together is like.  - Claire