My last email

Just a quick to let you all know that my hotmail was compromised and an email with a link was sent out to everyone in my address book.  Just wanted to let you know I didn't send it.  Sorry for any misunderstandings!
Claire

 

WTF

Ok... that didn't work.  Maybe it has to be in the Title.
Lalalala... I feel like a dooooork...

We're famous!

OMG... did you know that whatever we write here will come up in google searches?
I was looking up that joke about the paranoid dyslexic and I found it on our own site!!
Let's do a search for... ummm.... Aliaire breek resort.

What is it with this gay?!

This is like the third time with this (gay?) guy... should we finally point out his mistake?  Or keep laughing from a far?  Yep... keep laughing.

Eric Lin Lin I was driving a car to go to 三重 to do something.unfortunately, I was in the bad luck, the car just didn't work while I shut it off, Yes!!~that's right!! It was out of power!! finally,I met a gay who was willing to help!! He got a tool to recharge the battery for me !! thanks God!!

Is it just me or is this the plot of some cheezy (gay) porn?

I wonder if it's the left or the right?

Facebook is a treasure trove of entertainment. I have no idea what it says but check out the name:

Buttock Lu:生日生日大快樂呀!!!!!!!!!!!!!上次考試有看到你捏~不過你咻一下就走了~~~


29 minutes ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike · See Wall-to-Wall

bowling/blowing ...

Yet another opportunity to poke fun of ESL students...

Jack Wang: I forgot to tell you , I was a boy who went blowing with all girls . Kind of fun
35 minutes ago
 
Um... everyone at work will know we were bowling with Jack, not blowing him right? Bowling was bad enough.

Flea Market (Online translation gone wrong)

Meh~~~ Every dear fat goat classmate,
Flea Market (only for internal staff)

we might have another one for students in the future if you guys think it's a good idea..

Studio answer 4 month OSC Earth Day and swordfish everyone very have buying ability and each other's good feeling so we decide life one Flea market (only for internal staff).
 
Please prepare at home your want to sell things. If too big like furniture trouble not to bring it come. Eye before thought is 1 month 1 time set at some Friday. Everyone's thing put in Room 3. (please yourself bring things use bag or box ready so not messy.) Everyone rule most 20 things everything least NT50. (Only face-to-face exchange one-time payment)
Please everyone go home things prepare vote decide date to GQ Room 3 kill red eyes bah!

Thanks for all gays...

Making fun of people is so awesome...
(seen on facebook)

Eric Lin Lin Thanks for all gays giving me a word 'Happy birthday',I will feel my heart full of the thankfulness all the time. I so glad that I am part of your life. (to all my dear)

Lovely Chocolates

Hello! Alison,


Receive your greeting with thank you :P

Although I have separated birthday parties around recent weekends, it was still out of my plan. Some friends arrange a surprising party to me tonight,therefore, I can not be SC tonight, and cancel it.. I feel a little bit guilty, sorry! But I am sincerely glad to have you all lovely chocolates to stay with me / to send me greetings. Thank you!
The more parties I have, the more weight I get @_@ Not Good! I can't image I have gotten weight 2kgs within only 2days, +_+...

PS: it is time to review English for this Wednesday's encounter, so chat with you next time and wish you a nice night. Janice :-)

Yes.. it IS time to review...

Don't drink and blog...

So it's 4:38am and I am still up after a night of drinking regular coke at Luxy.  I was pondering the many reasons why not to drink alcohol and decided to do an internet search on the topic.  Among many good reasons, I also found this gem:

"I think people should never drink and drive many healthy and young people have lost there lives do to dinking and drinking!"'

So true... soooooo true.

Murse or satchel?

Looking at a profile on Plentyoffish.com...

Alison:  Ok, take a look at this picture and tell me... is this a 'murse'?

Claire:  Oh... that's a tough one.  It's like a cross between a 'murse' and a fanny pack.

Alison:  I think it might be a satchel.

Claire:  Yeah... haha... Indiana Jones has one.  Send me that picture and I'll send it to a friend of mine. 

Alison:  Ok, why?

Claire:  He's a man-bag expert. He bought a Prada 'murse' in Italy... we teased him MURSEilessly about it...

Alison:  Hahaha....

Claire:  (Falling over from laughter) bahahahaaaa....

Is that a raisin in your fur?

On the MRT going home:

Claire: (Sigh) Single again... good thing there are still plenty of fish... haha
Alison: Yeah!  Lot's of choice out there.
Claire:  I don't even know how to talk to boys anymore.
Alison:  Me neither!
Claire:  We can practice on Sumo...
Alison: "Hey baby, is that a raisin in your fur?"
Claire:  Haha... ew... not exactly the same thing.

A Cup of Drink

Seen on random dating website profile:
"Ideal First Date - A Cup of Drink"

Claire:  What the hell is a "cup of drink"?
Alison:  It's better than a cup of food...
Claire:  ...or cup of shit...
Alison:  Yeah I was going to say that. 
Claire:  ... or cup of cement...
Alison:  It's better than a cup of bread...
Claire:  Cup of bread!! I LOVE cup of bread!!
Alison:  Me too!
Claire:  And it's better than "plate of drink" too.  You have to be quick with that one...

Train Number 2

On the way to HsinChu:
Claire:  Is there a toilet nearby?  I don't want to... you know... use train number two.
Alison:  Yeah... that would be unfortunate.

On the way back:
Claire:  Thank god I didn't have to use train number two.
Alison:  Yes but you did use train number one.
Claire:  Yeah totally... I rode that one a lot tonight.

Compliments????

Non-compliments (or nonpliments):

Pariswei Tsai -> Alison Miller: Daer Alison! You are a real big girl with perfect sweet smile!! I love you and Claire so much XD

Coworker to Claire:  "Your nose looks like a fake one."

Wood Chipper

Watching CSI one night...

Alison:  Ew, ew, ew... I could never kill myself in a wood chipper.

Claire:  Would you rather die in a fire or in a wood chipper?

Alison:  Well, in a fire I guess, because you'd die from smoke inhalation.

Claire:  But what if you didn't... what if you were, like, IN the fire.

Alison:  What d'you mean?  Don't people always die from the smoke?

Claire:  Well, the smoke is, like, at the top... and you're, like, at the bottom.  IN the fire.

Alison:  You mean like if you jumped into a camp fire?
Claire:  Yeah, like if you were a witch.
Alison: Hmmm... I'd really rather not die.
Claire:  Yeah, I guess.  Especially if you had to go feet-first into the wood chipper...

"A"

Dear Alison,
I truly want you to be happy, but I will not allow you to marry a guy who spells the Canadian "eh" as "A."
Love Claire

Anatidaephobia

Alison:  Did you know anatidaephobia is the fear, that some time, somewhere, some how, a duck is watching you...?

Claire:  If it were true, that would make the duck a 'peking' duck... get it? (Insert hysterical laughter here.)

Paranoid Dyslexic

Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic?  He was sure he was following somebody...

I so need to figure out our blog cos I found this and wanted to post it...

G-String Exam

(Overheard on the way back from the gym)
Claire:  You'll have more free time once you've finished writing the GRE.
Alison:  You mean GMAT.
Claire:  GRE, GMAT, G-STRING... what's the difference?
Alison:  I'd probably pass the G-STRING exam... oh wait, maybe not.  "What?  Cellulite?  Fail!!"
Claire:  Yeah, Asia is not the place to do the G-STRING exam.  But you have a great chance of passing in Texas... in terms of the competition...

I'm ready... already wearing my new butt-lifting jeans from Mango :)

Breaking the ice

It was driving me a bit crazy to have an open blog with no posts yet, so I thought I would just dive in and get it over with.  Besides, I'm supposed to be studying right now and this is a perfect way for me to procrastinate.  It's 10am Tuesday morning, and I'm sitting here at the table drinking coffee and eating pumpkin seeds.  Sumo is biting my ankles as usual and I'm trying to ignore him so as not to give him the reaction he desires, but it hurts!
You just came out of your room (yes, it's 10am) and said: "Damn you morning... bested again!"
I think this is hilarious.
Morning in our apartment is one of my favorite times...just the combination of pj's, CNN on TV, coffee and the sound of rain outside is comforting, and I'm pretty sure I'll miss it when I'm back in Canada.  I won't miss the doorbell scaring the crap out of me (it was the gas guy) or the insane morning traffic outside our window. 
I was thinking we should title this blog 'cousins'... what do you think?  It kind of sounds like a TV sitcom, which is basically what hanging out together is like.  - Claire